This week I have made a mistake. You know when you do something so absolutely silly that you cannot believe you have really done it?
That’s me. I normally do silly things. But they are the kind of things you laugh about. Like not coming in to work on Friday because someone told you to have a lovely weekend the previous evening. Or putting sun cream in my toothbrush. Or eating a spider.
I said something totally inappropriate to someone who didn’t deserve my words. I really wasn’t conscious of the impact of what I was saying but once the words were out of my mouth, there was no turning back.
And no matter if I apologise straight away. If I really didn’t mean it. No matter how bad, how guilty, how ashamed I felt. The damage was done.
The worst part is how the other one reacted. She not only accepted my apologies, but also, she was understanding enough to see that I wasn’t myself when I said what I said. To realise it was just an extremely exhausted me after a difficult day. And she was so amazingly generous with me, I started to feel even worse.
And she’s not even a close friend. Someone who loves me enough to tolerate such a hurtful words due to a bad mood day. No, she is almost a complete stranger to me. And she is, by far, an immensely better person than I.
Would I have reacted the same way? Not sure. What would my thoughts be if someone I know had would said the same? I would have had a serious chat about it. Would I have thought I was going to be able to act like I did? Never.
But I did it. And I’m sorry. And although most of the people has told me it wasn’t that bad, I cannot forgive myself.
A good friend has told me “being human means that we embody every human emotion, love, hate, fear, regret, and on and on. I often take solace just in that fact – knowing that, when you’re feeling a “bad” emotion – you are just being human. Anger and such can serve for spiritual purposes. They can show us aspects of ourselves we don’t understand and even provide a vehicle for change.”
This week’s recipe is something I have been looking forward to do for a while. And I have decided to do it precisely this week because I really needed to reconcile a bit with myself doing something I really wanted to do. An innovative and risky bet for a summery dessert. This avocado cheesecake is equally delicious and unexpected. Soft and creamy with a hit of crunch, this cheesecake is the ultimate pud.
WHAT DO YOU NEED
2 Ripe Avocados
600gr Cream Cheese (Philadelphia style)
100ml Double Cream
150ml Condensed milk
A handful of Raspberries
1 Packet Digestive Biscuits
1 Gelatine sachet
Some Raspberry Jam.
WHAT DO YOU DO
Crush the digestive biscuits and mix well with the butter. With the aid of the back of a spoon, press mixture against the bottom of the prepared pan up to about 2 cm. This will make the base of our cake. Set aside.
In a large bowl mix the double cream with the condensed milk and mix until soft. Add the cream cheese and beat until light and fluffy. Add the avocado and mix until fully combined. Tip: if the avocado is not ripe enough, mash it with a fork before adding.
Dissolve the gelatine in 1/4 cup of boiling water. Pour over the mixture and whisk again.
Pour the cheesecake mixture into the prepared crust. Level the surface with a spatula and chill at least 4 hours or overnight.
Spread some raspberry jam, decorate with fresh raspberries and grate some lime on top.